Past few hectic days (and many more coming..)
Hm... let's see. What I have done these few days. Very hectic days.
Saturday: From morning 9am till 5pm I helped Open House. Quite tiring coz most of the time only standing in the booth, but got break in between. Moreover, the shirt that I got as a helper is nice, it's NUS centennial t-shirt. After that I spent the whole day doing 4264 project in my groupmate's hostel, we stayed there from 9.30pm till 4.30am!
Sunday: Continue 4264 a bit and edit here and there. Doing a bit of MKT1003 Marketing project. Then last minute rushing for CS3265 tutorial which is due the next Monday. Actually it's a group assignment but none of us have done it, everybody is busy with his/her own projects. So me n Eunice rushed the assignment till 6am in the morning! Yes, two consecutive days of sleepless nights.
Monday: Luckily only got 1 module, so I slept a lot to recover my body which started to feel unwell. Recovered on the next day.
Tuesday: As usual, my busiest day of the week. Class from 9-5pm then BS activity from 6-8.
Wed: TS workshop. The instructor told us that we're gonna have practical exam on 20April in The Black Box Theatre in Fort Canning (never been there before). Oh my.. it's on my reading week. I think my reading week n the week before will be full of rehearsal. Must form a group of 6 for the performance but I have no idea with whom I wanna group with. The drama choices for the exam are not easy, I guess. There are 4 choices, including Shakespeare "Much Ado About Nothing". I think it'll be hard. Quite scary.
Today: Plan to do 66 but dunno where to start. It's due in 3weeks+ but I haven't started. I hate programming, but I can't avoid it coz it's requirement. I think must start doing it anyway..
Life is a puzzle whose pieces u can never complete
These 2 weeks, a lot of things have happened that make me think what life is all about.
Last week my uncle wanted to have eye operation but he was not allowed becoz the doctor suspected that he has lung cancer. Lately, the laboratory or the doctor said that it was a mistake and it might be tuberculosis. It's still better afterall, compared to cancer. Cancer is like a "death-devil" which can take a life away in sudden. At the same day, one of my friends in Jakarta was hospitalised becoz he got dengue and he lost much of his thrombocyte. I think normal people should have 150,000 thrombochyte level while he's left with 20,000. Most of my friends in Jakarta went to see him in hospital. I could only send my regard and pray for his wellness. Luckily he got better and could already go back to his home a few days ago. Last week, my stepmom's aunt was also diagnosed with liver cancer. Lately her doctor told her that it was a mistake, and it was just a tumor. What? Okay, I feel relieved to hear that. But I mean, are the doctors today becoming more careless and heartless? What if there's malpractice or the doctor diagnoses wrongly, gives wrong treatment and costs a life?
Today, I just received an email from my CCA (NVAC) that one of the kid has died because of leukemia. If u dun know what NVAC is, it's a weekly volunteer activity (every Sat) to train disabled kids. I've been an inactive member this semester (n last semester maybe). I haven't gone to my CCA becoz I've been very busy during weekends doing my projects (no thanks to NUS, especially SoC) or sometimes even if there's no project due to next week, I admit that I'm quite lazy to go to the kids' school at Yio Chiu Kang. Besides it's far, sometimes I feel very tired during weekend becoz of the whole week full of assignments and just wanna rest in my room. But somehow, although I haven't gone to my CCA, I feel saddened when I received the email this morning about the one of the kids who has passed away. She's still young, the road is still long ahead and her mother has struggled for her best. Yet the fate told different story. If u have time, u can read the email below:
Hi all,It is with a heavy heart to know that Meiling has just left all of us at 1am todayat KK hospital. For those volunteers who have been closely involved in caring forher for the past few months (huixian, liping, xinyi, cuili, clara, roland, calvinand many others) after her diagnosis of leukemia, i sincerely thank you for yourkindness. Just like to pay tribute to our trainee Meiling, the trainee that inspiredme most for my past 7 years in YCK, strengthening my belief that our trainees may beintellectually disabled but they may not be handicapped.Still remember my first YCK session more than 7 years ago at the old venue YCKcommunity centre. Meiling was about 10 years old that time. Due to the fact that shewas very close to my trainee, Jing Ren (left YCK 4 years ago), i had the fortune ofhaving quite frequent contact with her. Two things i noticed about Meiling was thatshe was a fast learner in dancing and very obedient and quiet. She seldom threwtantrums though she could be quite stubborn at times especially when auntie wasaround. She was also a good swimmer and even participated in competitions in school,thanks to her ever loving mother. Auntie was really a role model parent, who dideverything she could to maximise Meiling's potential. She devised ways to teachMeiling at home to improve her fine motor skills, enrol her in dancing and swimming lessons. Like to quote from her: " Meiling may beintellectually disabled, but i want her to enjoy what a normal kid is doing." With agreat mother, Meiling grew through the years and slowly become a very obedient,caring and lovable kind lady. Besides being academically challenged, there was nodifference between her and any other 17 year old lady.Meiling left YCK for quite a long while few years ago due to her swimming anddancing lessons, which were also held on Saturday afternoons, but was a regular andvaluable trainee at annual MINDS camp. She will normally hold the female lead roleas she can act and dance well. Still can remember her being snow white and otherfamiliar characters.She came back to us again after a few years, looking very lady-like, slim and stillas quiet and obedient. Recall talking to auntie, asking her how she was for the pastfew years. Anyone will be touched by the things auntie had done and Meiling hadachieved for the past few years as she grew like a normal kid and behave like one.Really inspired me a lot and hence for those that know me, this is one of my reasonsfor having a dream of a public charity concert for these trainees. The female leadin this dream in the past, present and future will always be meiling and no oneelse.Sometimes, i feel heaven is really not fair. Who will expect Meiling and auntie, whohad conquered so many hurdles in the past years, to cruelly face a hurdle that nohuman can avoid and conquer in such a fast and sudden manner. Meiling was first hitwith diabetes mellitus just early last year that require her to be put on insulininjection plus a few admissions to KK hospital for poor control and infection. Myfriend, who was a doctor in KK, commented that Meiling is one of the most wellbehaved young lady that he had treated. The nurses also praised and said that ifevery patient is like Meiling, their work will be so easy. A few months later, shedeveloped some rash over her body. In my mind at that time, i really hope it is justdengue fever, but somehow i have this bad feeling in my heart that it might be leukemia as Downs syndrome individuals areunfortunately more prone to this disease. My worst prediction came true and thebattle between leukemia and Meiling with the ever loving support from her motherbegan. More and more complications began to develop, with 2 times changing of herlong intravenous lines due to infection, unknown infection and her last battlestarted one week ago. She started to have diarrhoea and abdominal pain and then losther appetite and so auntie decided to send her to hospital. Unfortunately shedeteroriated and was sent to intensive care a few days ago. Sadly, the battle provedtoo much for her.Though Meiling has left us, she will live in our hearts forever and i hope that herspirit of ever wanting to improve herself will inspire us to do more to maximise ourtrainee's potential. We should also use auntie as a role model in her selfless andever loving attitude towards her loved ones. May she rest in peace and those she love be well and happy always.I don't know what to say after I read the email. A piece of my heart screams why life is unfair and sometimes even cruel. But I also think, who can judge whether life is fair or unfair, anyway?
If u're given a choice to see ur loved ones (whether it's ur family or anyone who u love and truly care) struggles and suffers during their life, would u rather see them suffering while they're alive or let them rest in peace although it means u wouldn't be able to see them anymore?
Whenever I hear about some people struggling between life and death, it really reminds me to appreciate life, health and everyone around me. It also struck to me, that somehow my problems become so "tiny" compared to them. I mean, sometimes (or even very often) I complain about my projects, the stress of school life, etc. But when I see those people, I think I'm still much blessed for what I have right now. I thank God that I'm still alive. I still can breath, can see, can speak, can smell, can hold, can walk, can hear, can think, can feel... I have family, bf, and my friends who care about me. I have food everyday. I have shelter that I can stay and sleep in every night. I'm blessed with many other little things that I never really appreciate but yet are so important to make me what I am and who I am right now.
So is life fair or unfair? I think I can never know. Life is like a puzzle that u can't complete coz there're always some pieces of it that are missing. They make u wonder and ask why this happens or that happens. But those what make life life, right?
